“If I am being kind to you but you think I’m being horrible, am I being kind or not?”
Yes, you are being kind. If you believe that you are being kind and what you said had no hatred behind it then you are not being horrible. The other person can interpret it as being horrible but that is not your fault, if they think that what you said was horrible and believe that what you said was horrible then it will be hard to change their mind. If something is taken the wrong way then it is probably because you do not know them well enough or they do not understand your way of speaking enough.